Like
every other Indian wedding, an Assamese wedding is an occasion of bonhomie and
camaraderie. With an attractiveness so subtle and pristine, an Assamese wedding
reflects a sobriety that is a rarity in most Indian weddings. Let us explore the
little nuances that make it an affair to remember.
PRE-WEDDING
RITUALS
Juroon:
This is the main pre-wedding ceremony akin to a bridal shower. The groom's mother along with the other female
members of the family arrive at the bride's house (usually two days prior to the
wedding). All along the journey, traditional wedding songs (called biya naam)
are sung. At the entrance, the groom's party is greeted warmly by the bride's
mother and other female relatives amidst sounds of ululations. The bride's
mother holds a xorai (a bell metal utensil) containing betel nut and leaves
covered with a gamusa (traditional Assamese towel). She gently tugs the groom's
mother's attire and gets her inside the venue. While the groom's party is served
refreshments, the bride flanked by her friends is brought to the venue. The
groom's mother gifts her the wedding attire (the traditional Assamese two-piece
sari called mekhela saador) along with her bridal trousseau (an odd number of
clothes). The bride is also presented with a number of jewelry sets and the
complete make-up kit. Every single object is touched by the groom before it is
packed for the bride.
Tel diya:
During the juroon ceremony, the most significant ritual is of the mother-in-law
pouring a little oil on a betel nut kept over the bride's head thrice. This is
followed by the mother of the groom applying sindoor on her daughter-in-law's
hair partition. Surprisingly, in an Assamese wedding, the groom does not apply
sindoor to his bride. Following this, the rest of the items (like a pair of
coconuts, fish, sweets, curd, two earthen pots filled with rice) that have been
brought are offered to the bride. Each item is touched by the bride as a mark of
acceptance. Finally, the bride is made to look at a mirror. The bride now takes
the blessings from all the elders of the groom's family, who in turn gifts her
(either cash or jewelry). The bride's mother is also gifted with a set of
clothes as a mark of respect for having brought up the bride. A lavish feast
follows, after which the groom's party departs.
Uluta juroon:
This ritual, held in the evening, is similar to the juroon ceremony that takes
place earlier in the day at the bride's place. Here, the bride's family visits
the groom's side presenting him with gifts and his wedding attire.
Interestingly, the items that were gifted to the bride (excluding the clothes,
jewelry and make-up kit) are divided into half and given back to the groom,
symbolizing the bond between the two families.
Paani tula:
The next morning, female members of both the bride's and groom's families visit
a nearby pond to collect water that is to be used for the ceremonial bath at the
respective houses. A duloni (brass stand) containing a lighted lamp over a heap
of rice grains from the bride's/groom's house, a pair of betel nuts and leaves,
a coin and a knife are carried by the bride's/groom's mother to the pond. Amidst
singing of biya naam, the water is collected and brought back, without looking
back at the pond. The coin is given to the bride/groom to be kept safely while
the knife is tied to a scarf/gamusa which is to be carried everywhere till the
wedding gets over.
Nuoni:
This ritual refers to the ceremonial bath of the bride and the groom at their
respective houses. The bride/groom is made to sit on a special seat surrounded
by four kol puli (young banana plant). The ceremony begins with the mother
applying oil, curd and a paste of maah-halodhi (urad lentils and turmeric). The
other ladies also follow suit. Once this is over, the mother pours the sacred
water over the bride's/groom's head which is again followed by the other
relatives.
Daiyon diya:
On the day of the wedding, in the early hours of the morning, curd is sent to
the bride's house from the groom's place. The bride eats half and sends back the
other half to be eaten by the groom. Curd is a symbol of good luck. Hence,
partaking the same is to ensure a hassle-free wedding. This ritual also marks
the last meal of the day for both the bride and the groom till they are
married.
Nau puruxor sarddho:
This ritual refers to paying homage to the ancestors of both the bride and the
groom by their respective fathers. It is a special ceremony where the last nine
generations from the father's side and the last three generations from the
mother's side of both the bride and the groom are paid obeisance.
WEDDING
RITUALS
Bride's reception:
In an Assamese wedding, the bride's reception takes place before the actual
wedding. The bride, dressed in all finery, is seated on a decorated pedestal
with a small bota (a traditional bell metal plate) with saunf ready to greet all
the guests all through the evening. As the groom's party is about to enter, the
bride is taken inside where she changes into the bridal attire (a white and
golden mekhela saador) given by her in-laws.
Groom's procession:
The groom gets ready in traditional attire given by his in-laws. He is made to
wear a wreath made of fresh flowers and basil leaves. As he is about to leave
his house, his mother tries to stop him with a cloth, and the groom is supposed
to peep in through the gap between the door and the cloth. This ritual takes
place thrice, after which the mother allows him to go. In an Assamese wedding,
the groom's mother is not allowed to take part in the wedding ceremonies. After
taking her blessing, the groom along with his family and friends start the
journey to the wedding venue.
Dora aaha:
Amidst a grand show of fireworks, the groom flanked his best friend gets down
from the car to be greeted with a continuous showering of rice by the bride's
side. What follows is a friendly competition between both the bride's and
groom's side. The groom's best man is to shield the groom with an umbrella. The
bride's mother now makes an entry to welcome her son-in-law with a traditional
aarti. She gives him a kiss on the cheeks amidst sounds of
ululation.
Bhori dhuwa:
The groom is now made to stand on a low stool. The bride's younger sister washes
the groom's feet as a mark of respect. The groom is not allowed entry till he
pays a hefty price. Finally, the bride's brother lovingly carries the groom to
the wedding altar.
Biya logno:
The wedding ceremony starts with the groom and his father-in-law taking part in
a host of rituals. The bride, carried by her maternal uncle, is brought out to
the altar with sounds of ululation and conch shells. After exchanging the
garlands, the ceremony of konyadaan takes place wherein the groom, the bride and
both their fathers participate. Offerings of puffed rice is now made to the fire
by the couple jointly, which is first placed on the bride's hands by her
brother.
Xoptopodi:
The couple now goes around the fire seven times. Post this, the bride places her
right foot on the seven betel leaves kept near the sacred fire.
Aaxirbaad:
The wedding ceremony being over, the bride now takes the blessing of her
husband, following which the newlyweds take the blessings from all the elders
present.
POST-WEDDING
RITUALS
Khel dhemali:
While the guests are guided to the dining area, the newlyweds are taken inside
to engage in some friendly games. One of the most popular games is to find a
ring hidden in a bowl filled with rice. The one who finds it first is the one
who is believed to have a stronger say in the relationship.
Maan dhora:
The groom now touches the feet of every elder from the bride's family to offer
his gratitude in addition to presenting them with gifts (mostly clothes). In
return, the elders bless him while showering him with gifts (jewelry, cash or
clothes).
Bidaai:
The bride is now given a tearful farewell by her family. She showers a handful
of rice thrice over her shoulders to ensure that prosperity continues in her
maternal home. She is accompanied by her brother and few of her close
friends.
Ghor gosoka:
The newlyweds are welcomed warmly by the groom's mother at the entry. The
bride's feet is washed and she is made to enter her new home by breaking a saaki
(an earthen lamp) and finding a ring from a pitcher of water. She is taken to
the prayer room where she seeks the Almighty’s blessings. She is then given a
tour of the house, fed a little curd and then escorted back to her own house by
her brother and friends.
Khuba khubi:
The next morning, the groom arrives at the bride's place to listen to the tale
of two gods Khuba and Khubuni from the priest. The couple takes the blessings
from the gods for a successful marriage and get ready for the groom's reception
in the evening. It is after the reception that the bride finally moves into her
new home.
Phool xoja:
This is the first night together of the couple after their wedding. Their room
and bed is well decorated with fresh flowers and scented candles. The next
morning, the bride presents gifts to all the members of her in-laws and seeks
their blessings for a prosperous future.
Aathmongola:
This is the last wedding ritual which happens on the eighth day after marriage.
This ritual marks the newlyweds' first visit to her maternal home. A lavish
lunch, comprising of eight dishes is served to the couple along with
gifts.
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