Pag Phere

Pag Phere is a common post wedding ritual held in Punjabi weddings. In this, the bride and groom visit the bridal home, the day after the wedding. The bride’s brother may also come to pick her up from her in-law’s home and take her back to her parents. In her honor, the family prepares a large feast and also gifts her and the groom several expensive gifts. This is also a way of inviting the groom into the family and inside their hearts!

mooh dikhai ki rasam

mooh dikhai ki rasam

Indian weddings are elaborate affairs full of pomp and splendour. The laughter, the songs and dances, the aroma of rich food that fills the air, the taste of a salty tear on a quivering lip, the warmth of affectionate smiles and tight embraces around you. Finally it's time to take the hand of the man you love and accept his family as your own and be accepted in turn.

The bride goes to her new home and is welcomed by the entire family. The family now indulges in a series of games and post-wedding rituals, amidst much laughter to make the new member feel comfortable. One such ritual is the Mooh dikhai ki rasam.

Introductions
Literally translated, mooh dikhai means 'show your face', but this is a ritual, which helps to introduce the newly wed to members of her husband's family! Each member of the groom's family comes in turn to make an acquaintance with the new bride and shower her with gifts. The mother-in-law showers her with jewellery, clothes and money. The other close relatives of the family also offer her gifts and money.

The history
The ceremony is performed in slightly different ways across the country depending on the customs of that particular region. The most common way of performing the ceremony has the bride sitting with her face covered by a veil. The relatives come one by one to lift the veil, viewing the bride for the first time after the wedding and showering her with gifts. In olden times particularly this custom was very important because most of the womenfolk would not attend the wedding. The baraat generally travelled to the bride's village for the wedding. Because the travel was on foot or by horse, womenfolk generally stayed back. When the baraat came back with the new bride, the mooh dikhaicustom gave all the women a chance to meet the new member.



Traditionally, the Indian bride has to cover her face with her bridal veil or Ghoonghat. The mothers-in-law (and other ladies from the groom’s family) lift up this veil and offer gifts to the brides for ‘showing their faces’ thus welcoming them into the family. This ceremony is also held in Muslim, Gujrathi and Rajput weddings. Modern grooms may also offer the brides expensive gifts in the form of jewelry on the ‘first night’ after she has lifted her bridal veil.

Haldi ritual for wedding

The haldi ceremony is being performed with lots of traditions and customs. It is general assumption that by applying haldi on to the body of groom and bride, the beauty of both of them would complex more at the D-Day. On the Haldi ceremony, the families of bride and groom apply haldi on them along with water. It is applied to bless the soon-to-be-wed couple with great fortune and prosperity. Turmeric powder is applied on the bride's face to ensure more sparkling skin for her wedding.

Historically, this ceremony is celebrated separately in homes of bride and groom, but nowadays, it is often done together. 

The haldi ceremony, also known as Uptaan ,is conducted different in some parts of India, where aata (flour) and rice added to the haldi, according the respective rituals and traditions. After pasting, haldi is allowed to dry and shower to emerge gleaming at the marriage event. Ladies gather in each family to sing folk songs for celebrating the occasion. The relatives in both the families enjoy food and drinks along with bride and groom, respectively. Hence, the haldi ceremony is the occasion of rituals and celebrations just like wedding.

• Auspicious colors like yellow are worn on that day but these may not be new as clothes tend to get spoilt with Haldi stains.
• For the Tel Baan all ingredients like henna, mustard oil, sindur (vermillion), curd, turmeric, salt and mustard seeds are put in clay pots and kept in a plate. Grass is then used to apply these 5 ingredients to the bride/groom.

 

• The family members (generally married couples) dip the grass in all the clay pots and apply it on the bride/groom’s feet, hands, knees, shoulders and head 7 times from bottom to top (Tel Chadana) and after everyone has finished, the same couples repeat the process 7 times from top to bottom (Tel Uttarna). In some families Tel Chadana and Tel Uttarna are on different days. But if you are constrained on time, you can have it together on the same day itself.
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Sagai - Engagement Ceremony

Rings are exchanged between the groom and the bride.
The main purpose behind the organization of the sagai in India is to finalize the date of marriage.

In addition to being engagement ceremonies, the kurmai and chunni are both considered sagan ceremonies, which means they bestow good luck and blessings on the bride and groom. 

The kurmai is a ceremony for the groom done by the bride`s family and the chunni is a ceremony for the bride done by the groom`s family.

The chunni ceremony, held at the bride’s home, is conducted by the groom’s family. The bride is donned with gifts brought by the groom’s family. The gifts often include a salvar kameez or sari, make-up, nail polish, jewellery, bangles, bindis, hair clip or ribbon and sindoor (red powdered that placed at the tip of a woman’s hair part symbolizing she is married). The most important gift is the chunni (a long scarf). It is always in a shade of the traditional wedding colour, red, and is presented to the bride-to-be. The significance of the chunni ceremony is to begin the process of welcoming the bride in to the family.

The kurmai ceremony is traditionally held at the groom’s home. The groom is presented with gifts brought by the bride’s family. The gifts often include a gold kara (Sikh bracelet) or a wrist watch.

Griha Pravesh

Griha Pravesh-the time when the bride enters her husband’s home for the first time. 

This is an auspicious moment wherein the ladies (from the groom’s family) stand in the centre of the living room or near the entrance, inside the home. At the threshold is kept a kalash or jar of rice. The bride pushes and topples this jar with her right foot while entering the home.  In some parts of India, she may even be required to dip her feet in water containing ‘red kumkum’ or vermillion powder. This way; she leaves her footprints across the home as she walks, signifying that the Goddess of Wealth or Laxmi has entered the home, bringing success and prosperity to the groom

 In fact, it is the traditional Indian way of welcoming the newly wed bride.
During the Griha Pravesh ceremony, bride pushes a jar or kalash containing rice by her right toe at the entrance. After that, she enters within the house by stepping her right leg first. The ceremony of Griha Pravesh illustrates that the family of groom has welcomed the bride from the bottom of the heart and accepted her as one of the integral member of their family. At some places in India, the bride also tells her husband name at the entrance and then enters to the home.
Hence, the post-wedding Griha Pravesh ceremony is the medium in which the bride puts first step at her in-laws and starts a new passage in her life.

Rule it with 'ring'

The groom's mom throws a ring and other small items in a big bowl of milk and the newly weds have to find it

Couple entering home for the first time are directed to sit surrounding a large container full of milk and rose petals. There is a ring thrown in it and the newly-weds are asked to find it. Whoever finds it first is said to have an upper hand in the marriage. 

Jaimala or the Exchange of Garlands

The bride and groom exchange flower garlands (usually made of marigolds, lotus, jasmine and roses) as a gesture of accepting and respecting one another. Garlands are symbols of love.

In India male members of both families throw flower petals on the bride and groom as symbols of life without sorrow and troubles.

Wedding Ceremony

Mehendi and Peethi A day before the wedding the palm and feet of the bride are decorated with "Mendhi". A canopy or mandap decorated with flowers is erected at the place of wedding. On the wedding morning, various ablutionary rituals are performed on both the bride and the groom in their own homes. Their bodies are anointed with turmeric, sandalwood paste and oils, which cleanse the body, soften the skin, and make it aromatic. They are then bathed to the chanting of Vedic mantras

Laya (Laja) Homa : The Oblation of Parched Grain Here the bride offers sacrifice of food (poured into her hands by her brother or someone acting in her brother's behalf) to the Gods for their blessings. "This grain I spill. May it bring to me wellbeing and unite you to me. May Agni hear us." He then asks the bride to spill the grain into the fire, saying: "This woman scattering grain into the fire, prays: Blessings on my husband. May my relatives be prosperous".

Baarat (Wedding Procession) The Bridegroom arrives for the wedding along with his family and friends in a procession. They are then received by the bride's family and friends.

Commencement of Marriage The priest commences the marriage under a canopy that is specially decorated for the ceremony. The priest invokes blessings of God for the couple to be married. The bride offers yogurt and honey to the groom as a token of purity and sweetness. The bride greets the groom by placing a garland around his neck and the groom reciprocates. Both are congratulated by guests. The priest invokes the memory and blessings of forefathers of the bride and the groom for this auspicious occasion.

Kanya Danam (Giving Away of the Daughter) The bride accepts her change of status from an unmarried woman to a wife by spreading turmeric powder on her hands. Kanya Danam is performed by the father (or uncle of guardian) of the bride in presence of a large gathering that is invited to witness the wedding. The father pours out a libation of sacred water symbolizing the giving away of the daughter to the bridegroom. The groom recites Vedic hymns to Kama, the God of love, for pure love and blessings. As a condition for offering his daughter for marriage, the father of the bride requests a promise from the groom for assisting the bride in realizing the three ends : dharma, artha, and kama. The groom makes the promise by repeating three times that he will not fail the bride in realizing dharma, artha and kama.

Paanigrahana or Hasta Milap (Holding the Hand) The bridegroom stands facing west and the bride sits in front of him facing east. He seizes her hand and recites Vedic hymns for happiness, long life, and a lifelong relationship When the Bridegroom Takes the Bride's Hand, He Says : "O Sarasvati, gracious one, rich in off spring, you whom we hymm first of all the Gods, may you prosper this marriage. "I seize your hand."

Vivaaha (Wedding) The bride and the bridegroom face each other, and the priest ties their garments (the bride's saree to the groom's shirt) in a knot, symbolizing the sacred union. The bride and the bridegroom garland each other and exchange the rings. Next the nuptial fire, symbolizing the divine witness, and the sanctifier of the sacrament, is installed and worshipped. Both the bride and the groom grasp their hands together and pray to God for His blessings. Samagree, consisting of crushed sandalwood, herbs, sugar, rice, ghee (clarified butter), and twigs is offered into the sacred fire to seek God's blessings for the couple.

Agni Parinaya : The Circumambulation of the Fire The bridegroom holds the bride by the hand and both walk three times around the nuptial fire. Both offer oblations and recite appropriate Vedic hymns to Gods for prosperity, good fortune, and conjugal fidelity. They touch each others heart and pray for union of their hearts and minds While walking around the bridegroom repeats: "First now they bring to you in bridal procession this Surya, guiding her steps in circular motion. Return her now, O Agni, to her husband as rightful wife, with hope of children to come." Then the entire rite is repeated twice more, beginning with the rite of the fried grain. At the fourth round she pours into the re all the fried grain from the mouth of the winnowing basket saying: "To Bhaga Svaha!"

Asmaarohana or Shilarohana (Mounting the Stone) At the end of each round of nuptial fire, both the bride and the groom step on a stone and offer a prayer for their mutual love to be firm and steadfast like the stone.

Satapadi (Seven Steps) This is the most important rite of the entire ceremony. Here the bride and the bridegroom take seven steps together around teh nuptial fire (Agni) and make the following seven promises to each other :As per the Vedic rituals, the bridegroom sings the following : With God as Our Guide, Let Us Take, the first step to nourish each other the second step to grow together in strength the third step to preserve our wealth the fourth step to share our joys and sorrows the fifth step to care for our children the sixth step to be together forever the seventh step to remain lifelong friends, the perfect halves to make a perfect whole. After the seventh step he makes her remain where she is and says: "With seven steps we become friends. Let me reach your friendship. Let me not be severed from your friendship. Let your friendship not be severed from me." The Saptapadi ceremony concludes with a prayer that the union is indissoluble. At the end of this ceremony, the bridegroom and bride become husband and wife. In some communities such as Gujarati, instead of seven, only four steps, signifying Artha, Dharma, Kama and Moksha are taken.

Mangal Sutra Dharana The Mangala suthra Dharana is the tying of the thread containing the marks of the Vishnu or Shiva in the neck of the bride by the groom. Suhaag or Sindhoordana The groom places sindhoor (red powder) on the bride's hair symbolizing her as a married woman. Post-Marriage Game Playing There are several regional variations to this ceremony. Aeki-Beki In the groom’s house a game called aeki-beki is played, by placing a ring and several coins in a tray of water which is colored by vermilion and milk. It is said that the person who finds the ring four times, will rule the house. Talambra In many South Indian marriages the rice mixed with the turmeric is poured over the heads of groom and bride, by bride and groom. After this there are ceremonies of name calling singing and other games aimed at the bringing the bride and the groom closer. Arundhati Darshan Arundhathi Darshana is the showing of the Saptha Rishi Mandala and the small star Arundhathi underneath the star of Vashistha. These seven sages and their families are the originators of the Vedic Lore of the Hindus. In memoriam of these great sages the seven stars in the Great Bear constellation are named after them. The significance of this ritual is to remind the couple of the cosmic responsibilities they have to fulfill. Darshan of these Great Sages is intended to remind the couple the heritage they have to carry and the debt to the sages they have to pay. Dhruva Darshan - Looking at the Polestar After sunset he shows her the polar star, saying: "You are firm and I see you. Be rm with me, O ourishing one! Brhaspati has given you to me, so live with me a hundred years bearing children by me, your husband."

Aashirvaad The groom's parents bless the couple and offer cloth or flower to the bride (now their daugher-in-law), symbolizing her joining of the groom's family. All those assembled shower flowers on the couple and bless them completing the marriage.

Grahapravesha - Entering the Home The couple depart from the girl’s house after the vidai , for the groom’s house. They carry behind the couple the sacred fire in a vessel. They should keep the fire constantly alight. When they reach his house, he says: "Enter with your right foot. Do not remain outside." The bride enters the home placing the right foot - considered auspicious, first. When the bride and the groom enter the groom's house, the mother of the groom welcomes the bride by doing an arati. They sit silently until the stars are visible.

Christian wedding

Though a minority community in India, the Christians hold as much significance as any other community. Christian weddings are a spectacle to behold, with a host of rituals and customs that are hitherto unknown to the general masses. Christian weddings are much more than just a 'I do'. Let us unravel them for you...

PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

Attending a preparatory course: Once the marriage is fixed, the prospective bride and groom attend a marriage preparatory course. They fill a form declaring every detail about their lives and take an oath on the Bible that they haven't withheld any information and that they are aware of the duties within a Christian marriage. Also, they are required to produce their baptism certificates.

Bridal shower: One of the most important pre-wedding customs of a Christian wedding, a bridal shower is a fun-filled, entertaining informal hen's party, which is hosted by the bride's female friends. A female get-together marked by dance, songs and joyful (sometimes naughty) games, the bride is showered with blessings for her conjugal life. Traditionally, the bride offers a pink cake (which has a thimble hidden) to all present. It is believed that the girl who receives the piece of cake with the thimble will be the next to get married.

Bachelor's party: This is akin to the bridal shower. Here, the male friends of the groom host a wild night for their single friend to enjoy his last stint as a bachelor. It is customary to raise a toast before the drinking begins for the evening. Once the toast is raised, it is customary to break the glasses to ensure that they are not used for a less worthy purpose.

His and her's pre-wedding party: Sometimes, the bride and the groom forgo their respective bridal shower and bachelor's to host a pre-wedding bash together for their friends. A combined get-together offers a chance for great social camaraderie and interaction for the youngsters.

The rehearsal dinner: Generally held a day before the wedding, the rehearsal dinner is to bring together the families of both the bride and the groom along with a few close friends. The groom's family usually hosts it while the wedding reception later is hosted by the bride's family. The rehearsal dinner can be an elaborate affair at a swanky place or an intimate gathering at the groom's place or any other chosen place.

WEDDING RITUALS

Welcoming the bride: On the day of the wedding, the groom sends a car to pick up the bride to get her to the wedding venue. When the bride arrives, the best man welcomes her with a kiss on both the cheeks and hands over a small bunch of flowers.

The wedding mass: The bride accompanied by her father walks towards the aisle where she is finally received by her soon-to-be groom. The priest welcomes the couple and the guests into the church and begins the ceremony. The wedding mass begins with hymns and selected readings from the Bible.

Liturgy of the word: The bride and groom along with their close relatives read previously selected passages from the Bible.

Homily: Homily refers to the interesting lecture that the priest delivers with an emphasis on the sanctity of marriage. He makes it even more fascinating by punctuating it with amusing anecdotes.

The nuptials: The nuptials refer to that part of the ceremony when the priest puts forth a few questions in front of the couple as to whether they are marrying out of their own free will, whether they will love and honor each other as husband-wife for the rest of their lives, and whether they will accept children from god lovingly and bring them up according to the law of Christ.

The solemn promise: The priest asks the couple to hold hands and declare their consent before god and the church. The couple then takes their wedding vows. They promise, individually, to be true to the other in both good and bad times, in sickness and in health. They promise to love, respect and honor each other for the rest of their lives. The priest, joining them together in marriage, blesses the couple.

Exchange of rings: After the priest blesses the rings so that the couple lives together in peace, goodwill and love, the bride and the groom exchanges the rings with a promise of unconditional love and fidelity.

The penitential rite: This ritual marks the entire congregation present in the church confessing to god and to one another, their personal shortcomings, sins and failures.

Prayer of the faithful: Once the penitential rite is over, the priest conducts a prayer service for the newlywed couple. He calls upon the lord to bless the couple so that their love may grow into a stronger bond and become a blessing for them and for others. The priest also seeks blessings for the friends, family and the souls of the departed relatives of the couple.

Offertory procession: The offertory procession refers to the ritual where the couple makes various offerings (like the Bible, a miniature house, candles or flowers) to the lord. Each offering has a special significance attached to the newlyweds' future life. After the offerings, the priest gives the couple consecrated bread and wine which represent the body and blood of Jesus Christ. The ritual is brought to a close with the choir singing offertory hymns.

The communion rite: The congregation now receives the holy communion. This is followed by jointly reciting 'Our father', a Biblical prayer.

Nuptial blessing: The bride and groom offer a thanksgiving prayer to god. The priest concludes the ceremony with a final blessing followed by a prayer. The congregation joins in to bless the newlywed couple. Finally, the priest and the couple sign the church register that serves as a valid legal document of marriage. A copy of this document is then sent to the registrar of marriages.

The recessional: This marks the end of the wedding ceremony. The bride and groom, followed by the marriage procession, walks down the aisle and steps out of the church. As they walk out, the organist plays the tune of the recessional hymn.

POST-WEDDING RITUALS

The reception: In a Christian wedding, the reception is the only post-wedding ritual. The newlyweds enter the venue, who are welcomed by showers of confetti and a live band playing foot-tapping numbers. The wedding cake is cut and they feed each other a bite of the first slice, the rest being distributed amongst the guests. The toastmaster proposes a toast in the newlyweds' honor. The evening gets going with the couple's 'first dance'. While they are waltzing, the bride's parents join in, followed by the best man, the bridesmaid and the groom's parents. Soon, all guests are seen joining in. Once dinner is over, the couple takes everyone's leave to push off for their honeymoon or their first night together. The wedding festivities come to an end with the bride throwing her bunch of flowers behind her, with a popular belief that the girl who catches it will be the next one to be married

Sikh wedding

They may be known to be boisterous and rumbustious in their day-to-day affairs, but the Sikh wedding is one of the most elegant and simple wedding ceremonies that takes place in India. Known as Anand Karaj which literally means 'blissful union', a Sikh wedding is the epitome of pristine love and unbridled splendor.

PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

Thaka/Roka: The Sikh wedding ceremony starts with the roka or the thaka ceremony. Once the families of both the bride and the groom agree to the alliance, the groom with his close relatives, visit the bride's family. This is to indicate to the community that the couple is betrothed and will receive no other offer for marriage. A respected member of the family offers ardaas (prayers) for the well-being of the couple. The groom's mother then presents her future daughter-in-law gifts (in the form of a chunni, sweets and cash). In turn, the bride's parents offer their son-in-law a shagan (token gift) in the form of cash and sweets to formalize the announcement of the engagement.

Mangni/Sagai/Kudmai: This refers to the formal engagement. Laden with a complete ensemble of fine clothes, accessories, jewelry and toiletries, the groom's relatives go to the bride's house along with the groom. The ceremony commences with prayers and kirtans (singing of hyms) in the presence of the holy book of the Sikhs, the Guru Granth Sahib. The bride's mother gifts her son-in-law various gifts (including sweets, jewelry and cash). The bride also receives gifts from her mother-in-law for an auspicious beginning. Finally, the couple exchanges rings promising each other a life-long of togetherness.

Maiya: Maiya refers to a Sikh custom where the bride and the groom are confined to their respective homes for a few days prior to the wedding. They are not allowed to step out of their house and also change their clothes.

Sangeet: This refers to the fun-filled evening where music, dancing and drinking are the main components. Traditionally, dancing to the beats of the dholak (small drum) was what sangeet meant. But with times changing, the dholak has been replaced with the DJ and sangeet promises to be a grand affair of fun and frolic.

Mehendi: This refers to the intimate ceremony for the ladies of the families, especially the bride's side. The henna paste is passed around amongst all present so that they can shower their blessings by placing a few rupees in the platter. Mehendi is smeared on the hands of the bride, who then leaves the impressions of her palms on a wall of her house. The mehendi is then quickly washed off following which the professional mehendi artists get on with their job.

Gana: This ceremony marks the tying of the auspicious red thread on the right wrist of the groom and the left wrist of the bride. Along with the gana, other auspicious items like cowrie shells, an iron key chain, pearls and a small bundle of sugar are also tied for good fortune.

Vatna: Taking place just before the wedding day, a scented paste consisting of barley flour, turmeric and mustard oil is applied to the bodies of the bride and the groom for cleansing and beautifying them. This is followed by a ritual bath.

Gharoli: Simultaneously at the groom's place, the groom's sister-in-law accompanied by other female relatives go to a nearby gurudwara or well to fill an earthen pitcher (gharoli) with water which is used to bathe the groom after the vatna ceremony.

Khare charna: The groom is made to sit on a stool and four girls cover him with a cloth over his head. He is then given the ritual bath before he starts getting ready for the wedding.

Choora chadana: This ceremony refers to the wearing of the red and white ivory bangles by the bride, which are a gift from her maternal uncle. The bangles are previously dipped in kachchi lassi (buttermilk). After the ritual bath, the bride puts on the kuvaar dhoti (last ensemble worn by her as a maiden gifted by her mother-in-law) and a prayer is said before the Guru Granth Sahib. Following this, the bride's uncle and aunt adorn her with the bangles, which have been blessed by five married ladies. The bride also wears a kada (steel bangle) on each wrist onto which her family and friends tie the kaleeran (dangling golden baubles) which are believed to bring in good luck.

Sehrabandi: Sehrabandi refers to the ceremony of tying the sehra (veil) onto the turban of the groom by his sisters which is first blessed by each member of the family. Along with the groom, the sarbala (usually a young nephew of the groom) is also dressed up for the occasion, who is to remain a constant companion of the groom till the wedding gets over.

Ghodi chadna: The groom and his sarbala are now escorted to a well decorated mare. After the mare has been fed horse gram by the groom's sisters, he and his sarbala mount the mare to set off for the journey to the wedding venue. The groom's sister-in-law now applies a touch of kohl to the groom's eye, symbolic of warding away the evil eye. Finally, the sisters and female cousins of the groom braid the bridle with vagaan (golden tassels) who are later gifted by the groom's mother.

WEDDING RITUALS

Milni: Milni is the formal reception of the baraat (groom's party) by the bride's family. To the singing of 'hum ghar saajan aaye' (hymn), the bride's father greets the groom's father by garlanding him and is garlanded in return. Similarly, all the male relatives of the bride greet their counterparts from the groom's side and leads them inside the gurudwara. Ardaas is being said and the wedding ceremony begins.

Anand karaj: The Anand karaj generally takes place at anand vela (early morning). But in case it happens a little later, it must conclude before noon. The bride is escorted by her father, sisters and friends to the venue and is seated on the left of the groom. Since the Sikhs do not have an ordained clergy, a respected member of the community or gurudwara generally conducts the ceremony. All present are requested to stand for the ardaas after which all bow down in front of the holy book. The bride's father next ties the knot between the bride's veil and the groom's stole, symbolically connecting them and giving away his daughter away in marriage. Following this, the groom leads the bride four times around the Guru Granth Sahib, each round interspersed with hymns. The ceremony concludes with another ardaas and is followed by the vaak (guru's counsel) which is done by opening the holy book and reading out a random verse from the page on the right. Karah parshaad (holy food) is distributed and the couple is garlanded.

POST-WEDDING RITUALS

Doli: The bride now changes into a set of clothes and jewelry gifted to her by her in-laws. She feeds the male members of her own family with cooked rice and readies to leave with her new family. Throwing back handfuls of puffed rice, invoking blessings for prosperity on her family, the bride bids a tearful adieu. The father of the bride helps her sit in the decorated car while her brother escorts her to her new home. On reaching her marital home, the groom's mother receives the couple, pouring a little oil on the doorstep before the newlyweds enter. The mother then attempts to drink water from a lota (steel jar) but the groom prevents her. Finally, after three attempts, he relents and lets her drink the water. This act is repeated with six other female relatives.

Doli dinner: This dinner is specially marked to celebrate the bride's arrival. It is generally a quiet affair with only close family and friends in attendance.

Reception: The groom's parents host the wedding reception which is a formal introduction of the newlyweds to the extended family and friends.

Phere pauna: This ritual refers to the bride's first visit to her maternal home after the wedding. They are greeted with gifts and blessings. This marks the end to the wedding festivities of a Sikh wedding. 

Buddhist wedding

The Buddhist community do not see marriage as a sacrosanct institution as most other religions. A Buddhist marriage accords prime importance to faith, of the two people, their families and their beliefs. Hence, rituals are not manifold, making a Buddhist wedding one of the most simple yet profound wedding ceremonies. Let us immerse ourselves in the Buddhist spirit.

PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

Horoscope matching: In the Buddhist community, horoscope matching is given due consideration. If the horoscopes of the prospective bride and groom match, the groom's family, in consultation with the lama (priest), selects an auspicious day to put forth the formal proposal for marriage to the bride's family.

Chessian: Chessian is the official betrothal ceremony when the date of the wedding is fixed in consultation with the astrologer. Herein, the maternal uncle of the bride's parents is seated on a raised platform. Recitals of prayer take place, followed by the distribution of madyan (a religious drink) to all the guests present.

WEDDING RITUALS

On the stipulated day of wedding, in the early hours of the day, the families of both the bride and the groom arrive at the temple, or any other chosen venue for the wedding to take place. The groom's family brings along with them trays laden with fruits, wine, traditional cake, tea, meat and most importantly, the jewelry that the bride will be gifted as part of her dowry. The number of trays must be either six or nine, and never seven or eight as those numbers are considered inauspicious and unlucky. One of the trays contains a pair of candles. They are lit either by the bride and groom or by their parents; the tradition varies from place to place. The lighting of the two candles symbolically suggests the union of the two families.

Before a specially erected shrine and the image of Lord Buddha, the couple and all present recite a handful of hymns (vandana, tisarana and pancasila). The candles and incense sticks are lit and flowers are offered to Lord Buddha. The parents of the couple now places a loop of strings on their heads to connect them. The couple recites the traditional undertakings as inscribed in the Sigilovdda Sutta. Following this, the couple makes offerings to the monks at the temple such as flowers, food, sweets and medicines. At times, token money is also donated to the temple seeking well-being and happiness for the newlyweds. The priest conducting the wedding places a thread on the heads of the monks. The thread is connected to a container that is sanctified after the ceremony. A red paste is smeared on the foreheads of the couple while the recitations of Mangal Sutta and Jayamangala Gatha take place.

POST-WEDDING RITUALS

Once the ceremony at the temple is over, some family rituals of both the families take place like a prayer in the spirit house, a feast or any exchange of gifts. The newly married couple then directly proceeds to their new home without much fanfare.

Malayalee wedding

A Malayalee wedding has the rare distinction of being the shortest wedding ceremony in the entire Indian wedding scene. Yes, rituals are present but only a handful of them. It is said that the Malayalee language is one of the toughest languages of the world. Well, can't say the same about their wedding. Short and sweet perfectly describes a true blue Malayalee wedding.

PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

Muhurtham: This ritual refers to the matching of horoscopes of both the prospective bride and groom wherein the couple's compatibility is checked following which the muhurtham (auspicious time) for the engagement and the wedding are fixed. The ritual is presided over by an astrologer.

Nischayam: This is the formal engagement ceremony which usually takes place at the bride's place. Traditionally, the bride and the groom are not supposed to take part in this ceremony but with time, it has changed as nowadays, the couple exchanges rings on this occasion. Gifts like gold and diamond jewelry, saris and suits are exchanged between the two families. Guests are treated to a lavish meal after the ritual.

Sadya and visit to the temple: A day prior to the wedding, a traditional feast (sadya) is held at the respective houses of both the bride and the groom. The bride/groom is made to sit facing the east and is served a traditional five-course meal along with her/his family members. After the meal, the bride/ groom visits a nearby temple accompanied by her/his close family members to offer prayers to the Almighty. On their return to their homes, the bride/groom seeks the blessings from their elders by touching their feet.

WEDDING RITUALS

Punyaha: As the groom arrives at the wedding venue, he is greeted by the bride's brother who offers him lemon and chandanam (sandalwood). Sacred water brought from a nearby temple is sprinkled on the groom before he is ushered into the wedding altar. At the altar, nirapara (a measuring container) filled to the brim with grains is kept. Also, pookula (an offshoot of the coconut tree from which the coconut grows) is kept in the nirapara.

Aayiramthiri: Around the same time inside the bride's room, aarthi is performed with an aayiramthiri (a lamp with multiple flames). This is supposed to cast off the evil eye and also purify the bride before the wedding. The aarthi is performed by a maidservant or an outsider, someone who is not directly related to the bride.

Kanyadaanam: The bride's mother and aunts bring the bride to the mandapam. At times, the bride is already seated when the groom enters the altar. Once the couple is seated, the father of the bride holds his daughter's hands and places them in the groom's hands as a gesture suggesting that the bride is now the responsibility of her husband. Once the ritual of kanyadaanam is over, the bride and the groom touch his feet and seek his blessings.

Thali kettu: The most important ritual in a Malayalee wedding, thali kettu takes place at the muhurtham decided. The bride's aunt hands the thali (mangalsutra) to the priest for its purification in front of the aayiramthiri. The priest then hands it over to the groom who ties it around the bride's neck at the most auspicious moment. They are showered with fresh flowers by the people present. The couple now exchanges garlands, following which they take their pheras. In a Malayalee wedding, the pheras (known as pradikshanas) are taken thrice (instead of the usual seven) around the nirapara (not the sacred fire). The ceremony comes to an end with the couple seeking blessings from their maternal uncles (of both the bride and the groom). While doing so, the couple hands over a betel leaf and a nut to the elders.

Pudava koda: This is another integral ceremony in a Malayalee wedding. Here, the groom presents the bride with two sets of clothing. One, a set of traditional Kerala women's wear pudava and kavani which are bordered with gold-plated threads and the other, a set of the traditional wedding sari arranged in a thalam (ornamental plate). The bride immediately changes into the pudava kavani. Later when she is ready to leave for the groom's house, she changes into the wedding sari.

Shadharmascharyatham: This is the last ritual that marks the end of a Malayalee wedding ceremony. Here, the newlywed couple offers dakshina (token gifts) to the priest for having guided them throughout the ceremony.

POST-WEDDING RITUALS

Thiruvathira: After the wedding ceremony gets over, the couple is taken inside where the bride's mother offers them milk and bananas. Generally the groom stays over for the night. At night, ladies perform the thiruvathira wearing cream-colored saris around the traditional lamp.

Vidai: The departure of the bride from the wedding venue takes place at the appointed hour predicted by the priest during the muhurtham. The bride leaves for her new home after taking the blessings from all the elders.

Kudiveypu: Kudiveypu literally means making a new home/family. At the threshold of the groom's house, aarthi of the couple is performed with a traditional lamp. The bride enters her new home by placing her right foot into it holding the traditional lamp in her hands. Ganapati pooja is now performed. The bride then boils milk in the kitchen to herald her inclusion into the new family. 

Muslim wedding

Elegance, sophistication and grandeur are some words that can perfectly sum up a traditional Muslim wedding. While times have definitely evolved, the beauty of a Muslim wedding maintains to hold itself. Let us unleash what makes for a true blue Muslim wedding.

PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

Istikhara: This is the first pre-wedding ritual in a Muslim wedding. Herein, the priest or religious head offers prayers to the god almighty, taking his approval for conducting the wedding.

Iman zamin: Once the almighty's blessings are invoked, the groom's mother visits the bride's place with a handful of gift items like sweets and a gold/silver coin wrapped in a silk cloth which is known as imam zamin.

Mangni: The mangni ritual marks the exchange of fruits and sweets between both the families when the groom's family visits the bride's house. Nowadays, it also marks the occasion when the bride and the groom exchange rings and announce their engagement.

Manjha: This ceremony can be akin to the haldi ceremony of Hindu weddings. Here, the bride and preferably all the guests are dressed in yellow outfits. The bride is smeared with turmeric paste all over her body for a natural glow before her D-day. Post this ceremony, the bride is not supposed to step out of her house till the wedding.

Mehendi: Held at the bride's place, the bride's hands and feet are decorated with henna paste in the accompaniment of traditional songs. The female relatives and friends also adorn their hands in the beautiful designs of mehendi. Sometimes, the bride's cousins visit the groom's place with leftover mehendi and apply a dot of mehendi on the groom's palms as a symbol of good luck.

WEDDING RITUALS

Mahr: This is the ritual of welcoming the groom with his kinsmen at the wedding venue. A band of musicians play traditional music to announce their arrival. Welcoming the groom, the bride's brother shares a drink of sherbet with the groom. The bride's sisters play some pranks before greeting all the guests with batons of flowers.

Nikaah: The wedding ceremony or nikaah can be held at any convenient venue, or the houses of either the bride/groom. In an orthodox Muslim wedding, the men and women are seated separately. In the presence of family members, relatives and friends, the maulvi (priest) conducts the ceremony. The walis (fathers of the bride and the groom) play an important role in the ceremony. Select verses from the holy Quran are read out by the maulvi. The nikaah is rendered complete after the ijab-e-qubul (proposal and acceptance) takes place between the bride and groom. The boy's side proposes to which the girl's side assents. The mutual consent of both sides is of great importance for the marriage to be legal. Finally, the amount of mehar (nuptial gift) is decided by the elders of both the families. It is customary that the mehar is given by the groom's family to the bride during the nikaah.

Nikaahnama: The nikaahnama is the document in which the marriage contract is registered. Containing a set of terms and conditions, it also gives the bride the right to divorce her husband. For the contract to be legal, the nikaahnama must be signed by the bride, the groom, the walis and the maulvi.

Blessing the groom: The groom now seeks blessings from all the older women present. In return, he offers them his salaam (a respectful salutation). The guests present then pray for the well-being of the newly-weds.

Dinner, prayers and aarsimashaf: After a lavish dinner (men and women dining separately usually), the newlywed couple sits together for the first time. Their heads are covered by a dupatta (scarf) while the maulvi reads out prayers. The Quran is placed between the couple and finally they are allowed to see each other through mirrors (aarsi). A sweet dish and dates are served to the guests thereafter as dates have a religious significance for Muslims.

POST-WEDDING RITUALS

Rukshat: This refers to the tearful farewell to the bride by her family before she proceeds to her new home. The bride's father gives her hand to the groom, with a promise that his daughter will be well taken care of.

Welcoming the bride: The bride is accorded a warm welcome at the groom's house by her mother-in-law. As she sets her foot into the threshold of her new home, the groom's mother places the holy Quran over her head.

Chauthi: Chauthi is the fourth day after the wedding. This is when the bride visits her home for the first time as a married lady.

Valimah: Valimah is the grand reception that is hosted by the groom's family. It is an occasion of togetherness, where both the families and their respective relatives get a chance to interact with each other.