The
Buddhist community do not see marriage as a sacrosanct institution as most other
religions. A Buddhist marriage accords prime importance to faith, of the two
people, their families and their beliefs. Hence, rituals are not manifold,
making a Buddhist wedding one of the most simple yet profound wedding
ceremonies. Let us immerse ourselves in the Buddhist spirit.
PRE-WEDDING
RITUALS
Horoscope matching:
In the Buddhist community, horoscope matching is given due consideration. If the
horoscopes of the prospective bride and groom match, the groom's family, in
consultation with the lama (priest), selects an auspicious day to put forth the
formal proposal for marriage to the bride's family.
Chessian:
Chessian is the official betrothal ceremony when the date of the wedding is
fixed in consultation with the astrologer. Herein, the maternal uncle of the
bride's parents is seated on a raised platform. Recitals of prayer take place,
followed by the distribution of madyan (a religious drink) to all the guests
present.
WEDDING
RITUALS
On
the stipulated day of wedding, in the early hours of the day, the families of
both the bride and the groom arrive at the temple, or any other chosen venue for
the wedding to take place. The groom's family brings along with them trays laden
with fruits, wine, traditional cake, tea, meat and most importantly, the jewelry
that the bride will be gifted as part of her dowry. The number of trays must be
either six or nine, and never seven or eight as those numbers are considered
inauspicious and unlucky. One of the trays contains a pair of candles. They are
lit either by the bride and groom or by their parents; the tradition varies from
place to place. The lighting of the two candles symbolically suggests the union
of the two families.
Before
a specially erected shrine and the image of Lord Buddha, the couple and all
present recite a handful of hymns (vandana, tisarana and pancasila). The candles
and incense sticks are lit and flowers are offered to Lord Buddha. The parents
of the couple now places a loop of strings on their heads to connect them. The
couple recites the traditional undertakings as inscribed in the Sigilovdda
Sutta. Following this, the couple makes offerings to the monks at the temple
such as flowers, food, sweets and medicines. At times, token money is also
donated to the temple seeking well-being and happiness for the newlyweds. The
priest conducting the wedding places a thread on the heads of the monks. The
thread is connected to a container that is sanctified after the ceremony. A red
paste is smeared on the foreheads of the couple while the recitations of Mangal
Sutta and Jayamangala Gatha take place.
POST-WEDDING
RITUALS
Once
the ceremony at the temple is over, some family rituals of both the families
take place like a prayer in the spirit house, a feast or any exchange of gifts.
The newly married couple then directly proceeds to their new home without much
fanfare.
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