Known
for their simplicity and naivety, the Tamil community attaches great importance
to age-old rituals and customs. Their weddings are an embodiment
of their values and ideals. A grand occasion of fun-filled celebration, Tamil
weddings offer a glimpse into their ancient civilization. Though not greatly
ostentatious and extravagant, nevertheless, Tamil weddings celebrate love and
commitment.
PRE-WEDDING
RITUALS
Panda kaal muhurtham:
It is customary to invoke the blessings of the family deity who is represented
by a bamboo pole so that the wedding proceeds without any hassle. Usually a
small ritual, it takes place at both the bride's and groom's
homes.
Sumangali prarthanai:
There is a belief amongst Hindus that it is auspicious if the wife dies before
her husband. Those women are called sumangalis. This ritual involves praying to
all the sumangalis so that the would-be bride be also blessed with the same
fate. A feast for all married women is also held.
Kalyanaponnu/Kalyanappillai:
This is a bathing ritual, held separately at both the bride and groom's places
usually on the Friday preceding the wedding. Anointed with scented oils, they
are not supposed to leave their homes till they are married. The bride is gifted
a green sari with matching bangles by her mother. While the groom is gifted
clothes and toiletries by his father.
Receiving the groom:
In a Tamil wedding, the groom and his family arrive at the wedding venue a day
prior to the wedding who are welcomed with a tray of flowers, fruits, betel nut
and leaves and mishri. While the bride's brother welcomes the groom with a
sandalwood tilak, the bride's mother offers the groom's parents a sweet dish
prepared from condensed milk. It is also customary to break a coconut as this is
believed to ward off evil spirits.
Vratham:
This ritual involves invoking the blessings of the family deity and the
ancestors of both the bride and the groom so that the wedding festivities are
not obstructed.
Paalikali thalippu/Karappu:
Performed by the bride's family, this ritual involves decorating seven clay pots
with sandalwood paste and kumkum powder which are then filled with curd and nine
types of grains. They are then watered by five/seven married women from both
sides, who are gifted saris. Once the wedding festivities end, the bride and
groom throw these pots into a nearby pond/lake hoping that the fish would eat
the grains that must have sprouted by then and bless the couple.
Naandi shraartham:
As a symbol of the souls of the ancestors of both sides, eight/ten brahmins are
invited. The two families seek their blessings and honor them with gifts of
fruits, flowers, coconut, sweets, betel nut and leaf, and dhoti-angavastram
(clothes).
Janavasanam:
This refers to the formal betrothal when the groom is brought to the wedding
venue from the nearby temple amidst music and dance. With five different kinds
of sweets and clothes, the groom is welcomed by the bride's
family.
Nicchiyadharatham:
This ritual refers to the Ganesh puja that the bride's parents participate in.
Thereafter, the bride is brought out where she is applied tilak on her forehead
and gifted a new sari by her in-laws. The pallu of her sari is filled with
fruits, kumkum, coconut and cashew nuts. A flower band is also tied around her
waist and an aarti is performed.
Lagna pathirigai:
The priest now formally reads out the wedding invitation including all
information related to the muhurtham. This is followed by a lavish
dinner.
Mangala snaanam:
Mangala snaanam refers to the ceremonial bath of the bride and the groom
together at an auspicious hour early in the morning of the wedding day. They are
both given the clothes for the actual wedding ceremony after the
bath.
Gauri pooja:
After the bride dresses up, she offers her prayers privately to Gauri
amma.
Kashi yatra:
This is an interesting ritual that adds drama to the occasion. After the mangala
snaanam, the groom pretends to leave for Kashi to lead the life of an ascetic.
Carrying a walking stick and some meager essentials, the groom shows disinterest
in becoming a householder. The bride's father intervenes and requests him to
accept his daughter as his life partner. The groom finally agrees and comes back
to the venue.
WEDDING
RITUALS
Pada pooja:
Once the groom returns, the bride's mother washes his feet with water,
sandalwood paste and kumkum in a brass vessel. The bride is then brought to the
wedding altar by her maternal uncle. Amidst a lot of teasing, the couple
exchanges garlands thrice.
Oonjal:
The couple is now made to sit on a swing. Small balls of cooked rice, colored
with turmeric and kumkum are dipped in milk which is sprinkled on the couple's
feet. Married ladies then circle the rice balls thrice around the couple in
clockwise and anti-clockwise directions and fling them in four directions to
prevent any evil disruptions. Holding a lamp or alternately a water urn, women
go around the couple thrice singing oonjal pattu songs. A mixture of milk and
banana is finally fed to the couple.
Kanyadaanam:
The bride's father welcomes the groom as he comes to the mandapam where the
sacred fire has been lit. As the bride's father washes his feet, the mother of
the bride applies kajal in his eyes. The bride is then brought to the mandapam
where she sits on her father's lap with a coconut in her hands. The bride and
her father offers the coconut to the groom while the bride's mother pours water
over the coconut symbolizing the giving away of their daughter. The groom's
family gifts the bride a nine-yard long traditional sari which is to be worn for
the tying of the mangalsutra.
Muhurtham/Mangalyadaranum:
With the help of her sister-in-law, the bride changes into the nine-yard long
sari and re-enters the mandapam. The bride again sits on her father's lap, who
is now seated on a sack of paddy. The sack of paddy symbolizes good fortune and
abundance. The bride's forehead is then touched by a farmer's plough. This
gesture carries the hope that the couple will always walk together, by each
other's side. The priest and relatives bless the mangalsutra which is then
handed to the groom who ties it around the bride's neck with two knots. The
third knot is made by the groom's sister signifying the bride's bond with the
entire family.
Saptapadi:
The groom holds the bride's right hand in his left and encircles the sacred fire
seven times. The bride begins each round by stepping onto the ammi (a grinding
stone/slab). This signifies that the bond be as firm and steadfast as the
stone.
Laaja homam:
The bride's brother now puts puffed rice to the groom which is then poured into
the holy fire to seek blessings from the fire god.
Ammi midithal:
The bride is now taken to the north side of the fire and is asked to put her
right foot on the ammi. The groom, holding her right toe, puts the toe rings.
Everyone present then showers rice and flowers on the newlywed couple. The
wedding ceremony comes to an end with the couple drinking panaham, a traditional
drink made of jaggery, cardamom and black pepper in water.
POST-WEDDING
RITUALS
Paaladaanam:
The couple now seeks blessings from all the elders of the families. They also
offer them a gift of fruits and a token rupee.
Sammandhi mariyathai:
The families of the newlyweds exchanges clothes and other gifts during this
ceremony.
Grihapravesham:
Since the groom's family is present in the wedding venue itself, a part of the
ceremony takes place in the temporary groom's quarters. A ceremony similar to
oonjal is held by the groom's side. Later when she actually steps into her
marital home, a pot of rice is kicked gently by the bride. The groom's relatives
come to bless the new bride. Milk and bananas are served to all those
accompanying the bride who are also presented with gifts by the groom's
parents.
Valeyadal:
The groom's sister now presents the new bride with gifts after which the wedding
games begin.
Bridal night:
In the wedding venue itself, a room is specially decorated for the couple to
spend their wedding night. The mother of the bride gifts a small idol of Lord
Krishna along with other gifts to her daughter. The next morning, as the couple
comes out, they are greeted by women singing.
Kattu saddam:
After these days of fun and frolic, the groom's side leaves the wedding venue.
An elaborate send-off meal is prepared for the groom's family. The bride's
family also packs food for the bride's new home.
Sadva pooja:
The next day at the groom's place, the bride serves the first spoon of payasam
(kheer) to the women present for a pooja.
Sumangali prarthanai:
This is similar to the ritual held before the wedding involving married women.
The only difference is that it is now held in the bride's new
home.
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