PRE-WEDDING
RITUALS
Adan pradan:
This ritual involves the prospective bride and groom along with the elders of
their family sitting with the priest who after establishing that the couple are
not close relatives or of the same lineage, sets the date of the
wedding.
Aashirbaad/Patri patra:
Performed a few days before the wedding, it is a confirmation of the marriage
alliance formally. In the holy presence of Lord Narayana, the groom's family
(excluding the groom) visits the bride and blesses her with gifts. The same
ceremony is reciprocated by the bride's family thereafter.
Ai buddo bhaat:
This ritual refers to the last maiden meal that the girl partakes at her own
house before she is married off. Giving her company are close relatives and
friends of the the bride. Simultaneously, the ritual also takes place at the
groom's house.
Vridhi puja:
The vridhi puja is conducted to honor all the ancestors of both the bride and
groom. It is performed a day before the wedding by the paternal uncle of the
bride/groom. All the required items are arranged in a baran dala (a silver
plate) which is decorated with the 'shri' symbol.
Dodhi mongol:
At the crack of dawn on the wedding day, ten married women from both sides take
the bride/groom separately to a nearby lake/pond to formally invite Goddess
Ganga. They also carry back a pitcher of water to bathe the bride/groom. Post
the bath, the couple are served a lavish meal of fried fish, rice, curd and
chiruya (poha), which is their last meal till they are married.
Piris:
This involves the wedding piris (wooden seats) being brought to the venue amidst
the blowing of conch shells and ululations. They are specially crafted and
decorated by close friends and relatives.
Gae holud tattva:
This refers to the haldi ceremony where turmeric paste is applied to the groom.
The same paste is then sent to the bride's place along with the tattva (gifts)
for the bride and her family members. The arrival of the tattva is met with the
blowing of the conch shells. The bride's haldi ceremony then commences.
Adhibas tattva:
Adhibas tattva refers to the gifts that the bride's family sends for the groom's
side. Placed on kasar thala (a brass plate), the gifts include saris, sweets,
curd and fish.
Kubi patta:
It is a short ceremony to revere Saint Kuber, held at both the bride's and
groom's houses.
Snan:
This ceremony involves bathing the bride and groom individually which takes
place in the afternoon of the wedding day. Married women apply turmeric and oil
to the couple, who then go for a bath. They change into new clothes given by
their respective in-laws. Their old clothes are given away to a barber.
Sankha porana:
The bride in her maternal home wears the sankha porana (conch shell bangles)
that have been dipped in turmeric water in the company of seven married women
and the priest chanting mantras.
WEDDING
RITUALS
Bor jatri:
This refers to the groom and his kinsmen undertaking the journey to the wedding
venue.
Bor boron:
When the bor jatri arrives at the venue, the bride's mother along with other
members come out to welcome the groom with the traditional aarti, sprinkling
trefoil and husked rice placed on a bamboo winnow. Generally, the bride's
maternal uncle or brother lifts up the groom and escorts him to the
altar.
Potto bostro:
After the groom is seated at the wedding altar, he is offered a set of new
clothes by the person who is to do the sampradan, most often the father of the
bride.
Saat paak:
The bride seated on the piri is lifted by her brothers and is taken around the
groom in seven complete circles while her face remains covered by two betel
leaves.
Shubho drishti:
This ritual marks the moment when the bride and groom look at each other for the
first time during the wedding.
Mala bodol:
After having exchanged loving glances, the couple now exchanges garlands of
fragrant flowers thrice.
Sampradan:
The couple then sits at the altar where the bride is given away to the groom by
the father of the bride (or any male member). A sacred thread is tied to the
couple while mantras are being chanted.
Yagna:
The couple sits in front of the fire, chanting mantras after the priest and
invokes the blessings of Agni, the fire god. They encircle around the fire
thereby solemnizing the occasion.
Anjali:
The bride's brother puts puffed rice into her hands. The groom holds her from
the back and together, they make an offering to the fire.
Sindoor daan and Ghomta:
The groom now puts sindoor from a small pot on the bride's hair parting. The
bride then covers her head with a new sari offered by the groom as ghomta
(veil).
POST-WEDDING
RITUALS
Bashor ghor:
According to Bengali customs, the groom spends the night at the bride's place
where night-long fun and merriment continues.
Bashi biye:
Not much in vogue these days, the groom puts sindoor on the bride, visits the
mandap and prays to Sun god.
Bidaai:
The bride finally is ready to leave her maternal home. The newlyweds are usually
escorted by the groom's father/uncle/brother.
Bou boron:
This refers to the formal welcome of the newlyweds to the groom's house. The
bride is made to dip her feet into a plate of alta (colored red dye) and walk
into the house. Amidst ringing of bells and conch shells, the groom puts an iron
bangle onto the bride's left arm.
Bou bhaat:
Bou bhaat signifies the first time that the bride serves food (usually rice
preparations) to her in-laws. The groom gifts her sari at this point. It is
generally followed by the reception in the evening.
Kaal ratri:
This ritual takes place on the second night after the wedding where the
newlyweds are not allowed to even look at each other.
Phool shojja:
The last of the wedding ceremonies, the bride and groom are adorned in new
clothes. Their nuptial bedroom is decorated with fresh flowers and they are left
alone to enjoy conjugal bliss. Generally, the clothes and flowers arrive as
gifts from the bride's house.
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